He came for dinner — and ended up in her poetry book.
One man’s steamy friends-with-benefits fling just got immortalized in verse — and now the internet’s swooning.
Tobias, known as @tobiasly on X, set social media ablaze this week after revealing a sizzling romantic entanglement that inspired a published poem.
In response to a prompt from dating app Schmooze asking users to “share a piece of lore about your dating life,” Tobias dropped a now-viral thread that’s racked up over 2.8 million views and left readers hot under the collar — and emotionally unprepared.
“I matched with someone on Bumble a few years back,” he wrote.
“We went on a couple dates & realized we weren’t relationship material but the physical chemistry was really good, so we decided to be fwb [friends with benefits] as long as we were both single.”
One night, early in their no-strings setup, things took a surprising literary turn.
“She invited me to her place… & she made me a three course vegan meal,” Tobias recalled. “First was the main course, then lots & lots of sex followed by dessert.”
A delicious memory — and not just because of the food.
Turns out, the woman — an aspiring poet with a social media following and a three-book publishing deal — was also keeping notes.
Some time after they’d gone their separate ways (she had found a boyfriend by then), she messaged Tobias to tell him a certain memorable night had made it into print.
He rushed to buy the book on release day — and there it was: “I Baked Brownies For Dessert.”
The poem she wrote didn’t hold back:
“The recipe said they needed to cool for twenty minutes.
Patience has never been a virtue of mine.
You were sitting on my bed more delicious than the brownies.
…I will not confess to intentionally wearing an outfit that is easily removed
but I will not deny it, either.”
From raunchy to romantic, it was more than a kiss-and-tell — it was kiss-and-publish.
“We help ourselves to each other until I lose count of orgasms.
The puddle beneath us says it was several.
…You ask, ‘Did I earn my brownie?’
I laugh as if you didn’t earn the whole tray.”
Tobias confessed that sharing the post was nerve-wracking: “This is the most personal thing I’ve ever shared online & I’ll probably delete but I had to tell someone.”
He later turned off replies after some people critiqued the poem.
“Poetry doesn’t have to rhyme or follow a certain structure or meter,” he wrote in defense. “Sometimes it’s just getting your thoughts into the world & this was one small piece of her work of self-discovery.”
As for commenters accusing him of fumbling the relationship?
“Quite a few ppl saying ‘how could you not make it work?’ or ‘you really fumbled,’ completely missing the part where we weren’t compatible,” he clarified.
“Physical attraction/chemistry is not enough for a healthy relationship.”
Still, one thing’s for sure: Tobias may not have earned the relationship, but he definitely earned the whole damn tray.
As previously reported by The Post, stories like Tobias’s underscore a broader cultural reckoning with modern hookup culture — one that’s increasingly leaving women feeling disillusioned and young men unsure of the rules.
In “A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century,” author Louise Perry attempts to intervene in what she calls a “hellscape” of dating apps, casual sex, and performative intimacy.
As hookup stories continue to dominate online conversations, Perry’s message is clear: both parties in a relationship deserve more than performative pleasure and poetic goodbyes — they deserve honesty, boundaries, and respect.
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