So I wonder why, if I had my time again, I’d still send my three kids to one. With only a flicker of hesitation and zero angst.
Maybe we just do what we know. My kids’ dad went to an all-boys’ school, the same one our sons attended. Chris did too – yeah, small world. I went to two all-girls schools.
Far from school being somewhere I was locked away from half the population, it was a daily escape from inescapable men. For eight hours, they were locked out.
No blokes taking up emotional and physical room, no boob-ogling, no pretending to be impressed by loud basic opinions. No leg-spreading chair poses or farting.
Jackpot. Nunneries or prison aside, where else can you be in a giant girl gang?
Sure, the flipside was I was set loose among the most hard-core people on the planet. Teenage girls. But I was one of them, so being bitchy and dramatic was inherent. Even the school doctor dished it out during my year 11 check-up: “You need to watch those thighs.” Pot. Kettle. Whatever.
There were absolutely days, probably months, I’d wish I was at a Hollywood-movie high school, preferably the one in Class with Rob Lowe. Checking out some hotties in the hall. But I think the image management would have killed me. I had bigger fish to fry.
Being cloistered in gender bubbles didn’t turn me, my husband or our mates into social duds. We left school, got jobs, found partners, built lives. We figured it out. Our kids did too.
Watching them now – confident in boardrooms, curious in conversation, clear on their values – I reckon we made the right call.
Forget the old chestnut about single-sex schools reinforcing gender stereotypes. Our sons acted in musicals, spoke about mental health, did charity work. Our daughter never wasted energy wondering how she came across. She found design, power tools and a career in construction.
What about socialising with the opposite sex? Easy. They had siblings. Went to parties, caught trains, worked jobs. The world was awash with opportunity, just not the classroom.
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But maybe I’m wrong. I text my kids: if you had a do-over, would you go back to single-sex schools?
All three: absolutely.
“Wasn’t distracted and learned how to deal with heavily masculine environments,” said Jack. Felix: “Co-ed raises more balanced men on average, but single-sex worked for me and I’d choose it again.”
Sades: “Hmm. I would’ve had way more fun at a mixed school but probably wouldn’t have done so well.”
Yeah, I reckon we made the right call, but a nagging doubt remains. What if we’d gone public school over private?
We could’ve bought them a flat each instead of spending all that money – pass the vodka – on fancy polish and extracurriculars.
Kate Halfpenny is the founder of Bad Mother Media.
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