Q: What should I do when a fellow passenger refuses to adhere to the “All mobile devices must now be placed into flight mode” announcement and continues texting throughout a flight? And no, WiFi wasn’t available. T.A., Coorparoo, QLD

Photo: Illustration by Simon Letch

A: Apparently, some mobile phones can interfere with an airplane’s navigational and collision-avoidance systems, so  you definitely should do something if a fellow passenger is breaking the rules. Unless, of  course, the plane is already plummeting to the ground and people are texting their final goodbyes to loved ones. Then just leave them to it. No point in yelling, “Didn’t you hear the announcement? Your phones should be in flight mode!” It’ll just come across as annoying.

But if this was a regular, phone-texting person on a regular, non-plummeting plane, there are several options to try.

1. The Evil Side-Eye: give them a quickie micro-glare, then look back at your knees before they make eye contact. Not hugely effective, but they’ll know something’s up. They’ll feel the glare: it burns a bit.

2. The Elaborate Too-Loud Mumble: lean over to a different passenger and mumble your concerns, accentuating key words like “texting” and “mid-air” and “catastrophe”.

3. The Polite Announcement Reminder: confront the texter, saying, “Excuse me, but in case you missed the announcement, all phones should be in flight mode, smoking is prohibited for  the duration of the flight, emergency exits are located here, here and here, and thank you for choosing to fly with us!”

4. The Dibber-Dobbing Fake Loo Visit (highly recommended): pretend to hurry off to the loo, then tell a cabin crew member and let them take care of it. Then return to your seat, looking extremely relieved: “Ohhh, that’s better! The chicken and parmesan wrap was a mistake. Biiiiig mistake …” ν

guru@goodweekend.com.au

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Danny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.

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