Choking act during sex investigated by NSW Police after death of 16-year-old

Police are investigating the death of a 16-year-old girl on Sydney’s northern beaches after a suspected choking act during sex.

The teenager died in hospital two days after emergency services responded to a concern for welfare at an Elanora Heights on Sunday night. They found the girl unresponsive.

She was flown in a critical condition to Royal North Shore Hospital, where she died on Tuesday night.

Two sources with knowledge of the case confirmed the teenager is believed to have engaged in a choking act during sex.

Warnings about sexual strangulation have increased amid scrutiny of violent online pornography, which experts say has warped young people’s understanding of sex and normalised concerning behaviour.

Consent education advocate Chanel Contos said she was devastated by news of the teen’s death: “This just feels insanely preventable.”

“There is no safe way to engage in strangulation during sex, and unfortunately, mainly because of pornography, where young people are learning and mimicking scripts from that, this act that was traditionally on the fringes of kink culture has made its way into the mainstream,” the Teach Us Consent founder said.

“We need to seriously investigate the impact that pornography is having on shaping the sexual scripts and behaviours of young people.”

Researchers at the University of Melbourne and University of Queensland reported in 2024 that about 50 per cent of young people had engaged in choking or strangulation during sex, partly because many people mistakenly believe it can be done safely.

“And there’s really no reason to think that the effects of strangulation would be any different if the strangulation was consensual or otherwise,” the study’s lead author, University of Melbourne Professor Heather Douglas, said.

“Even lower levels of strangulation, it can result in brain injuries like problem-solving difficulties, memory issues, and so on, and that’s without even being made unconscious, so it’s a really serious thing to do.”

“There’s such a range of injuries associated with strangulation. Some are permanent, some are fleeting … it doesn’t take much pressure, and it doesn’t take very long, to have really terrible consequences.”

Douglas said there were no safe ways to undertake strangulation, and she questioned aspects of consent surrounding it.

Among the almost 5000 people aged between 18 and 35 surveyed in the research were reports of consent having been assumed from previous instances of strangulation, consent without an understanding of the risks, and consent influenced by pressure or power differentials, Douglas said.

“A lot of people just want to be normal … and doing normal things in their sex life.

“And I think there is a bit of a normalisation of strangulation in many young people’s sex lives,” Douglas said.

Collective Shout co-founder Melinda Tankard Reist said she’s spoken to thousands of girls who have reported feeling pressured into engaging in strangulation during sex, which has been normalised by pornography and social media.

“It’s put forward as something desirable and it can heighten sexual experience, but they’re not learning that, well, actually you could die.

“Young people have a right to know the injuries and the potential life-threatening risk.

“This is again, just another fruit of a pornographic education,” she said.

The NSW government’s own submission to a recent parliamentary inquiry said depictions of sexual aggression including strangulation in pornography has been linked to increased intimate partner violence, citing research from 2017 by the federal government’s Australian Institute of Family Studies.

Federal independent MP Zali Steggall, from the neighbouring electorate of Warringah, said the teenager’s death underscored the need for a national education campaign to tackle misogyny and teach respectful relationships.

“My thoughts are with her family, friends and community at this incredibly difficult time,” she said.

“Police are investigating the circumstances of the girl’s death and no charges have been laid. We must allow the legal process to take place.

“Regardless of the circumstances of this particular case, the Albanese government itself has confirmed that rates of sexual violence, particularly amongst young people, are rising.

“The Albanese government must urgently roll out a national campaign ensuring young people receive ongoing sexual health and relationship education.”

Support is available from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).

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