“Leave earlier” is the obvious advice for those who run late. Then again, the business of punctuality is more nuanced than it might appear (how late is late?) And also, does anyone really want dinner guests turning up exactly on time – like, well, psychopaths?
If that sounds defensive, you may be right. While I’ve never missed a plane or a critical work deadline, I have a tendency, when it comes to social engagements, to arrive right on the cusp of – and, regrettably, sometimes beyond – the period of grace known as “politely late”. No doubt we could debate how long that is.
Some experts, such as enduring TV personality Dr Phil McGraw (not a doctor of medicine), accuse chronic latecomers of being self-centred, valuing their own time more than that of others. That might be true of many offenders, says Melbourne-based ADHD coach Annabel Rattigan, but it’s far from a universal truth.
Rattigan says working out why some people are constantly late is instrumental in fixing the problem. Eliciting a “Hmm” of recognition from me, she says that negative influences on punctuality include social anxiety and neurodiversity. Then there’s “time blindness” – an inability to accurately judge the passing of time. “This isn’t a diagnostic term,” she says, “but time blindness happens when you don’t have good executive function – the ability to plan, prioritise and execute.
“People with ADHD, for example, have lower levels of executive function. Other people might have a heavy cognitive load or struggle to hold lots of information in their head at the same time.” This can be an issue, she suggests, for perimenopausal women experiencing brain fog.
If Rattigan has a golden rule, it’s this: if you’re approaching a deadline, don’t take on a new task.
“People think, ‘I’ll just get myself a coffee on the way to that meeting, or ‘I’ll take the dog for a quick walk before I go out’ – whatever it is they think they can just fit in. But if they have time-tracking issues, they might underestimate how long this will take.”
Rattigan advises chronic latecomers to adopt various strategies that “externalise” the deadline. Rather than holding it in your head, employ sticky notes, calendar notifications, multiple alarms set at increments or the help of a partner or housemate.
To reinforce these strategies, write down a realistic estimate of how long it will take you to get to your engagement, factoring in getting ready and travel. “People are often very surprised when they do this,” she says. “That 30 minutes you originally allocated is actually going to be 45.”
Duly noted.
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