Markets 
We got famous. When Hughesy put down the winning bid of $3,067,000 on The Block in 2017 (a generous price we locals thought), our suburb’s reputation hit a tipping point. Despite the area being a cultural centre of the south-east for some time, people finally seemed to notice, or even just remember, Elsternwick. It hasn’t felt the same since.
My family are refugees from the suburbs by the sea, Elwood and Middle Park. We wanted to stay near the bay, but we were over the pile of debt and the spoiled and siloed culture. Plus I was hungry for a backyard. Elsternwick has brought us back into the “real” world.
Elsternwick is distinctively diverse. We love the variety of our suburb – the Jewish, Asian, Italian, Greek, Polish, South African, Irish and Scottish influences. In fact, it’s a big reason we moved here, and why we will stay.
It is noisy and fun, but can also be middle-ring dull. It should be genteel based on its location and amenity – but the apartments and flats cater for all budgets. Given its location and reputation, it should be up itself. But it isn’t.
The census highlights Elsternwick’s contradictions. Despite our most common occupation being “shop assistant”, almost 60 per cent of us fill managerial or professional roles. Over the road in “Braai-ton”, the most common occupation is CEO.
The spine of the village runs along Glen Huntly Rd, at various times called “Glenhuntly” – one word or two? The historians say two. Named after a barque immigrant ship from Scotland that was quarantined at a tent station at Point Ormond in 1840, the road runs from Elwood to its namesake suburb.
Although the menus at the Glen Huntly Road eateries are cheap – I love their value-for-money deliciousness – and op shops abound, almost 40 per cent of us are relatively wealthy on $12,000 a month. Despite the architecture being a mosaic from early 1900s elegance to 1970s kitsch, and often in need of an update – the median house price hovers around $2 million.
Beyond the diversity, it’s hard to say what I like most about living here. There’s a lot to like.
My train station, cursed with an ’80s modernist facade on Glen Huntly Road, was one of Melbourne’s first level crossings, converted in 1960. The windy open platform is a great place to people-watch as our diverse community flows through every day. With a train every 11 minutes, a bus hub and the iconic No. 67 tram, we are fully spoiled for options.
A little park near the station used to be a haven for rubbish, used syringes, graffiti artists and the odd possum, but with a big clean-up, it is now a village green, overlooked by the historic Rifle Club, which has been refurbished into a bar and restaurant dishing out beers and mocktails.
Like most people, I like shady trees. I had coffee once with former Glen Eira mayor Mary Delahunty to push for more trees on Glen Huntly Road. But alas – traders love car parking. And anyway, the tramways won’t let you.
There’s not much missing – we have a library, expansive sports fields and a great tennis club at Elsternwick Park. There are a variety of schools in St Joes, Elsternwick Primary/High, Wesley and Liebler Yavneh.
Glen Huntly Road buzzes from Monday to Sunday. People fill the street in active wear while carrying expensive coffee mugs. Lots of young people have moved here for a nice new apartment near a train station, adding life and energy. And they frequent some of the best eating in the south-east.
French chef Thierry gives every dish a flavoursome Gallic touch at Mandoline (yes snails are on the dinner menu), and he was recognised by our council with a letter thanking him for his community contribution.
The sighs of relief from the genteel St Georges Road neighbourhood were audible when the upmarket Carter Lovett cafe opened for business. Add to that Will’s Batch ice-cream, Hanoi Hannah, and Wasabi Japanese, and you get a recipe for middle-class delight.
Our Coles is one of the busiest in Australia. Don’t attempt to shop there during the post-Sabbath crush on a Sunday evening. At more than 100 years old, Hattams Menswear store proves there is something for all tastes and needs – handwritten sales docket, anyone?
Our cinema, the Classic, got a makeover recently, blessing us with seven nights a week of choice entertainment, as well as an expensive glass of red and a choc top. We get the MIFF (Melbourne International Film Festival), the JIFF (Jewish International Film Festival), the CHIFF (Children’s International Film Festival) and all the other IFF’s, as well as comedy including – you guessed it – our friend Hughesy.
Harleston Park is constantly chirping with the noise of children – the fake creek and adventure playground provide endless relief for parents at their wits’ end.
Other parts of Elsternwick reinforce its distinctive diversity. Hopetoun Gardens hails back to the early days of Elsternwick with its cannons and placarded tree specimens. I will never forget walking prams around that park, sitting under the giant 100-year-old pines, sipping on a coffee from Next of Kin and wishing for one more hour of sleep.
The village is one of the older parts of Melbourne. My grandfather lived here, in a veterans’ hospice, after returning from New Guinea. He lived here with Grandma pre-war, in a flat – she would take the No. 67 to work in the mansions on Queens Way as a maid. My father now also lives in Elsternwick, in aged care. It’s nice to have him so close.
The old ABC studios in Gordon Street are deeply cultural. An Australian rock icon lives nearby and still has coffee at Thierry’s with the locals – it’s great to “verbally jam” with him about the music industry and the latest gig. Just down the road at Ripponlea Studios, he would gyrate on stage on Countdown in the late ’70s and early ’80s.
Our Jewish diaspora is centred here with the Holocaust Museum and Cultural Centre in Selwyn Street, and the occasional festival that brings joy and love. May they live in peace.
So what would I change? Not much. Possibly a ban on any more op shops – surely six is enough? Another burger joint would be great – we only have four of those.
May Elsternwick stay the same and keep on changing.
Phil Noble is the founder of consulting firm SPP, and a non-fiction writer.
Phil Noble is the founder of consulting firm SPP, and a non-fiction writer.From our partners
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