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DEAR ABBY: I just concluded a five-day visit hosting some young relatives. Both are adults in their early 30s. They have full-time jobs and make decent money, although they spend it as fast as they get it. My concern is their pot smoking.
Recreational marijuana is legal here as well as where they live. During their visit, they smoked joints before breakfast, mid-morning, after lunch, before dinner, after dinner and before bed. I would estimate they smoked five to seven joints a day apiece. They repeatedly commented that what they bought here was much stronger than what they could get at home. I suggested maybe they should, therefore, smoke a bit less, but I got a “we’re on vacation” response.
They interspersed the smoking with high-caffeine energy drinks. Both exhibited a lot of anxiety and paranoia. Multiple times, they drove their rented car after smoking, and they would have gotten a DUI had they had been stopped for any reason.
I said nothing about their pot consumption during the visit, but then I thought that if they had seen me with a fresh glass of wine in my hand at breakfast, followed by five or six more over the course of the day, they would have been concerned about my habits. Am I crazy to be concerned about theirs?
I don’t know if this is how they spend their regular days off from work, or if this was a vacation binge. Should I keep my mouth shut and just let it go, or should I try to discuss it with them now that their visit is concluded? — OBSERVER IN OREGON
DEAR OBSERVER: How these fully employed relatives spend their money is not a subject you should raise. However, you do have the right to tell them you were concerned about not only the amount of pot they were smoking during their visit, but also the fact that they were driving under the influence. Marijuana may be legal, but that does not make it advisable to use in every situation. Being stoned slows down reaction time and puts them and other drivers at risk.
DEAR ABBY: My fiancé and I have been living with his parents for the past two years. We are ready to move, but it feels like his parents want us to live with them forever. I’m ready to just leave, but I don’t want to cause drama. His father calls me rude names and fights with my fiancé. I don’t want my daughter living this way anymore. Should I just walk out, or should I explain to them first what our plans are and then leave? — HAD ENOUGH IN THE SOUTH
DEAR HAD ENOUGH: I suspect there is at least one chapter and verse missing from your letter. Rather than leave in a huff or sneak away with no explanation, you and your fiancé should thank his parents for allowing you to live with them for the last two years, tell them you have found a place of your own now and leave as pleasantly as possible.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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