Markets 
In the face of an increasingly grim job market, those undeterred by germs can bring home a serious payday.
Spot & Tango, a NYC-based dog food subscription service, is on the hunt for contractors willing to receive dog kisses and a stand before a deluge of dog breath.
Job listings for a dog breath sniffer and a dog kisser, respectively, were posted this week.
“As our Dog Breath Sniffer, you’ll be responsible for filtering for the best (and worst) smelling dog breath in the city,” said the listing, “We need someone brave, bold, and nosy (literally) to get up close and personal with NYC’s finest canines.”
Compensation is listed as up to $1,000 an hour, and olfactory excellence is naturally a prerequisite
“A strong sense of smell (if you’re a sommelier, chocolatier, barista, or perfumer – you’re perfect!),” the brand stated on its website.
The ideal candidate will be “responsible for conducting breath tests around dog parks, creating a funk-o-meter evaluation metric, and running competitive analysis” in real-time.
The future employee is expected to “maintain highly detailed scent notes (e.g., ‘Hint of tuna? Eau de garbage? Delightfully neutral?’)”
Experience in canine behavior, veterinary tech, or pet wellness is a plus, but not a requirement.
And it touts one of its best perks as “unlimited dog cuddles.”
Meanwhile, folks interested in becoming an official Dog Kisser will be expected to, “Accept kisses from a rotating roster of NYC’s finest dogs,” as well as document and rate each interaction, scout and recruit dog ambassadors throughout the city, and “deliver real-world insights back to the team to help us keep raising the bar”….or bark if you will.
The “feel good gig,” which also pays up to $1,000 an hour, is considered quality control.
“You’ll hit the city’s dog parks, meet the pups, receive the kisses, and report back,” states the listing.
The ideal candidate is obsessed with dogs and possesses “thick skin, a soft heart, and a face that dogs instinctively want to lick.”
Both jobs promise a lot of canine comfort and “killer merch.”
However, potential applicants should know they are taking their lives in their hands when they apply, as the myth that a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s has been found to be patently false and categorically dangerous.
“Dogs spend half their life with their noses in nasty corners or hovering over dog droppings so their muzzles are full of bacteria, viruses, and germs of all sorts,” explained John Oxford, professor of virology and bacteriology at Queen Mary University in London
Strong bacteria found in a dog’s mouth can cause a range of dangerous diseases, some of which are deadly.
Capnocytophaga Canimorsus is a bacterium that lives in a dog’s saliva and has the power to cause fatal infections, including sepsis, which can ultimately lead to organ failure and even death.
Spot & Tango was founded in 2017 by Russell Breuer as a direct-to-consumer company focused on fresh, healthy, and sustainable dog food.
This isn’t the first time Spot & Tango has sought a professional breath sniffer; the company listed a similar job description last year, seeking a summer intern to fill the role for a far less appealing $25 an hour.
The dirty work is in service of Spot & Tango’s PupGum, a dental chew that promises to freshen dog breath at the source.
The chew is designed to battle bad breath and reduce P. cangingivalis, which can cause periodontal disease in dogs. Left untreated, periodontal disease can compromise heart, liver, lung, and kidney health.
The Post has reached out to Spot & Tango for commentary.
Critics and potential recruits were quick to comment on the canine opportunity.
“Covid eliminated a lot of candidates, myself included. I miss so many subtle scents/flavors,” lamented one.
“For $1000 an HOUR? I’d not only smell her breath, I’d smell her behind. I’d need trauma therapy after a week, but I’d be $50k in the black. lol,” offered an eager applicant.
“Many pet owners will gladly let their dogs kiss and lick their faces right after it cleans its own genitals, for free,” stated a third.
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