Exclusive | This NY restaurant is offering discounts to stressed investors — based on their roller-coaster stock market losses

You lose some, you win some.

With the stock market taking investors on a roller-coaster ride, one New York restaurant is providing comfort amid the chaos — offering customers discounts based on their financial losses.

The War Room Tavern in Albany — a favorite of Empire State politicos and located just steps from the State Capitol — is declaring war on finicky finances with their new “Market Meltdown” promotion.

The deal is intended to turn diners’ un-bear-able portfolio pain into dining gain — whatever percentage you lost in the market will be taken off your bill.

Lost 25%? Get 25% off.

Lost 50%? Your check will be cut in half.

Lost 100%? Well, eat and drink your worries away — because your meal will be free.

“All we ask is proof — show us a screenshot, print out your portfolio, or anything that makes it real,” owner Todd Shapiro said to The Post.

Shapiro, a longtime political player who previously served as spokesman for Ivana Trump and State Democratic Chairman Jay Jacobs, previously told The Post he opened The War Room Tavern in 2022 “to bring back the magic Albany used to have.”

Now, he’s helping diners who didn’t hedge bring back their money.

“It’s budget season. It’s market chaos. People need relief — and, frankly, they need a laugh,” Shapiro said.

The tavern — once dubbed the “Planet Hollywood of State Politics”— is a hot spot for local movers and shakers, with everyone from Gov. Kathy Hochul to Senate interns sitting down to order buffalo wings, or lasagna made from a recipe provided by Matilda Cuomo — mom of former Gov. Andrew Cuomo and wife of late Gov. Mario Cuomo.

“This place has always been a pressure valve for Albany insiders. We’re part political bunker, part culinary playground. Our customers are smart, stressed and love a good laugh — so this idea hits that sweet spot between serious and silly,” Shapiro told The Post.

The War Room Tavern began offering the Market Meltdown Discount on Monday, April 8 — the deal will run through Sunday.

“People were coming in stressed out, checking their portfolios over drinks, and I thought — why not turn the chaos into a little camaraderie? It’s a fun, tongue-in-cheek way to give people a break when they need it most,” Shapiro told The Post.

“It’s become a sort of group therapy with appetizers.”

The restaurant began advertising the deal on social media and strategically handed out flyers near the Capitol. As of Thursday, about 50 people had discountedly drowned their sorrows at the tavern, showing off their losses to save some cash.

Patrons, from a tech-savvy local in his 30s who invests on the side to a retired lobbyist in her 70s who’s still watching her IRA “like a hawk,” and even several state legislators, have walked into the restaurant with their heads hung as low as their stocks to ask for the discount.

One man sat down at a table with a spreadsheet printed out on which he had highlighted his losses and stuck a Post-it note that said “EMOTIONAL DAMAGE,” so the bar gave him 27% off and a double bourbon to ease the pain.

Some are even letting their losses yield to some fun.

A group of legislative aides got competitive. Whoever had the biggest dip — and therefore the biggest discount — had to sing karaoke.

The guy who lost 31% crushed “Living on a Prayer” — something he might have to start doing if he loses anymore.

Sadly, one man had lost even more.

A customer who showed his 44% loss was given the discount and a complimentary brisket slider — “just out of sympathy,” Shapiro said.

But diners at the War Room Tavern aren’t begging to be pitied.

“There’s definitely laughter — some gallows humor, some ‘I can’t believe this is real’ chuckles. But also solidarity,” the public house proprietor related. “People are opening up about their finances, sharing stories, and realizing they’re not alone.”

“It’s amazing what a discounted steak and a strong drink can do.”

And a stiff drink is exactly what many are ordering, especially because they’ve been half-off this week for anyone who asks.

The Post deemed the martini the drink of New York, and now the War Room Tavern has made it the drink of the market meltdown. They’ve poured about 90 $9 martinis, so far.

“Let Washington debate policy — we’ll handle the cocktails,” Shapiro said.