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Q: My partner hates it when I correct her for saying something is ironic when, actually, she means coincidental. So when I found a job with a new company, I discovered the person I’m replacing is replacing me in my old job. Irony or coincidence? L.M., Richmond VIC
A: Irony is a tricky concept: I’m not sure I understand it myself. When Alanis Morissette’s Ironic first came out, I remember thinking, “Hey, she actually makes some excellent points.” But I’ll give this a go.
For your situation to be truly ironic, you would’ve needed to have met this other person before, maybe in a bar where you were both celebrating your new jobs – and the barman got your drink orders mixed up, but you decided to stick with each other’s drinks. But no, that’s not ironic: it’s still a coincidence. Told you this isn’t easy.
What if the two of you got talking and it turns out they had the same first name as you, were the same age as you, and dated your partner just before you met her? Nope, creepy as hell but still a coincidence. C’mon, we can do this.
What if you said, “Strange, she’s never mentioned you”, and they said, “Probably because I broke her heart. I dumped her because she didn’t know the difference between irony and coincidence and it was really annoying.” Then you said, “So the only reason I’m with her is because she used the term ironic incorrectly? That’s ironic!” And they said, “No! Coincidence! You’re as annoying as she is!”
Then you both headed off and started your new careers, you exchanging jobs with them at the Australian Securities Exchange and them swapping jobs with you at Swap n’ Go, the BBQ-gas-bottle replacement program.
Is that ironic? I don’t know. I’m confused. Let’s just call it weird. Yes, that’s what it is. Weird.
guru@goodweekend.com.au
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Danny Katz is a columnist for The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald. He writes the Modern Guru column in the Good Weekend magazine. He is also the author of the books Spit the Dummy, Dork Geek Jew and the Little Lunch series for kids.From our partners
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