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Pour one out for the tech bros — or at least for their dating lives.
Though working in tech used to be considered a romantic flex for male suitors — with prestigious titles, flexible hours and sky-high salaries — young, rolling-in-it tech bros recently wailed to Wired magazine that no one wants them anymore.
One 23-year-old tech whiz, who went by the pseudonym Gary, shared that when he brings up his work as an engineer for the Miami-based data analytics company Palantir, women recoil. One even called him “the devil.”
Even when Gary claimed that he’d taken the $250,000 a year gig to pay off his parents’ medical debt to gain sympathy, he was still rejected. (Maybe the girls could smell the lie on him even more than the Axe body spray…)
“‘[That is] not an excuse to work somewhere like that,’” Gary remembered his not-so-romantic interest saying.
Even Gary’s friends are embarrassed by his job, he admitted in the article, saying that on guys’ nights out, he’s “not allowed” to mention his workplace, lest he hurts their collective chances of attracting women.
“I get nervous now. I don’t bring it up,” he added.
29-year-old James, a Tesla worker in San Francisco, blabbed to Wired that women often approach his political views with skepticism — even before knowing what they are. He added that the issue has “come up repeatedly” as he dates.
As a self-described “moderate liberal or moderate progressive” who “always votes blue and always will, probably,” James admitted feeling offended on a third date, when a woman he’d originally matched with on the exclusive app Raya questioned whether he had voted for Donald Trump in 2024.
When he shot back, he recalled her saying that “‘you work for Tesla, so I just need to check.’”
“If I don’t immediately say that I don’t like Elon Musk, people think that I’m conservative, which is generally not something that people like in San Francisco,” James continued.
Lori Zaslow, the co-founder of NYC-based matchmaking company Project Soulmate, told The Post that she’s personally seen the tide turn away from tech bros from her female clients for more personality-based reasons, sharing that her female daters “crave value over status.”
“‘Tech bro’ is now shorthand for arrogance, self-optimization obsession and treating dating like a trial for one of their tech startups,” said Zaslow.
“What has changed is [women] want someone who is available,” she continued. “They don’t need to hear about someone’s cryptocurrency profile and their next venture. They want time, and attention, someone who has emotionality.”
When Mary Oguntuyi dated a tech bro in her native Nigeria, the Gen Z banking associate was subject to lectures on longevity and wellness — and given a toothbrush and tongue scraper as a “romantic” gift.
“If you see a tech bro, run for your life,” she warned her followers on TikTok.
But others argue there’s a distinction between being a “tech bro” and simply being a man who works in tech.
“The tech part isn’t the problem. It’s the bro part,” one person commented on Instagram. “The term ‘Tech Bro’ has specific connotations, it’s someone who works in tech who is also highly involved in the manosphere and therefore doesn’t respect women.”
Dating coach Damona Hoffman said the backlash against “tech bros” reflects a much broader collapse in trust — both in the tech industry and in modern dating. While professions have always carried stereotypes in the dating world, the tech sector is being increasingly judged.
“Being a tech bro can signal two things to women: one, their values are misaligned and they care more about making money than doing good and two, their goal is often to prioritize app growth and career success over reliability and care for a partner or family,” Hoffman told The Post.
“My advice: instead of complaining about being misunderstood, take a bold action that shows who you are and what you value and lean on the things that make you a good partner rather than touting the company that pays your bills or has promised to pay you equity if or when it ever IPOs.”
But unlike the redemption of the finance bros — who are now arm candy to Hollywood’s hottest A-listers including Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman — tech workers’ reputations are currently so scorched, they require delicate handling even if they’ve sold an app to Meta.
High-end matchmaker Amy Laurent even revaled Wired that when she pitches male tech workers to her female clients now, she has to upsell and validate their initial reservations.
“[I say], ‘Listen, Listen, I have a great guy to tell you about. He’s such a good match for you. Now hear me out: He’s in tech.’”
Read the full article here
