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“I won’t be offering up a name for the new Snowy boring machine (C8),” says Matt Petersen of Randwick. “I’m still indignant that my last suggestion was ignored. Sydney Metro asked for help naming their twin tunnelling machines when the project commenced. At the time I suggested Wilma and Betty – as they used to live in Bedrock. Didn’t even hear back!”
Richard Murnane of Hornsby reckons that “one really needs to be fastidious in the supermarket these days. Who’d have thought a package labelled ‘MONK FRUIT ULTIMATE SUGAR REPLACEMENT’ in large type, followed by ‘WITH ERYTHRITOL’ in a much smaller font, actually contains 99 per cent erythritol and one per cent monk fruit extract? The word ‘WITH’ is doing some heavy lifting there.”
“If Haberfield day is too much Leichhardt work (C8) then find a Newport,” suggests Joy Cooksey of Harrington. Not to be outdone, Warren Finnan of West Ryde adds: “Without improved public transport in the sector, people will have less seats, and have to Stanmore.” And making this entry particularly frivolous, Russ Couch of Woonona “drove over to see Annandale, but they weren’t at home.”
We’re thinking it’s a good time to wrap up the presidential awards ceremony (C8), with an offering from John Brown of Kianga that is actually a long way from any trophy or medal: “I have a vinyl tennis racquet cover from 1967 which I received for turning up to a summer coaching camp in Rose Bay. It’s in a burnt orange colour. Very fetching in the Oval Office. My wife Larraine has the ultimate trophy for winning the table tennis competition in 1964 at a golf camp in Katoomba. Nothing.”
Suzie Ferrie (C8) is right, thinks Chris Hardie of Gymea Bay: “When I was a long-term patient at RPA in the ’90s, I could smell the bread being toasted at 5am every day. When it arrived with my breakfast tray at 7am, it no longer smelled of anything and was totally inedible.”
Expat Peter Buckley of New Ulm, Minnesota, USA, knows all about American geographical cognisance (C8): “Some years ago when in graduate school in the States, another student asked me where I was from. I replied, ‘Australia,’ to which he responded, ‘Oh, wow, how did you survive the Argentinian invasion?’ He honestly thought Australia was off the coast of Argentina. After I corrected him, he replied, ‘Are you sure?’”
Column8@smh.com.au
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