Bizarre wellness fads you forgot about — and what we’re using instead

With clocks springing forward this weekend for daylight saving time, it’s time to spring into action.

About 80% of US households dust off their brooms, vacuums and scrub brushes each year for spring cleaning.

Amid the faded clothes and unused linens, you might spot some wellness gadgets from trends long past.

And while it may seem like the ’90s are back thanks to a new “Scream,” an upcoming reboot of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy style copycats, it should be out with the oldies and in with the latest tech.

Culture historian Natalia Mehlman Petrzela, author of “Fit Nation: The Gains and Pains of America’s Exercise Obsession,” highlights five bygone wellness devices and their modern-day swaps.

Dr. Scholl’s exercise sandals

This may be the loudest exercise equipment around.

These wooden clogs — which gained popularity in the ’70s — are designed to “shape, tone and firm your legs with every step you take.”

But the rigid, uncomfortable design drew complaints of painful blisters, leg cramps and unsteadiness. Nevermind the incessant clacking sound.

Now, many footwear brands have developed specialized athletic shoes.

“The ‘healthiest’ ones won’t help you burn calories on their own but will be comfortable and supportive enough that they make you want to walk more,” Petrzela told The Post.

“Any good pair of sneakers or supportive footwear, including Dr. Scholl’s, should do the trick!”

Sauna suits

“Big sweat equals big weight loss, was the promise,” Petrzela said.

These suits, made of synthetic plastic or rubber, are supposed to trap body heat and maximize sweating for rapid but temporary water weight loss.

If you didn’t have a suit, you didn’t have to sweat it. People fashioned their own out of garbage bags.

Due to the risks of dehydration and heatstroke, some athletic associations banned sauna suits in the ’70s.

Fitness suits have since undergone a makeover. Electrical muscle stimulation suits, for one, feature electrodes that deliver electrical impulses to muscles, intensifying workouts, improving muscle tone and hastening weight loss.

ThighMaster

Hawking the ThighMaster was some of Suzanne Somers’ best work in the ’90s — beyond “Step by Step,” of course.

“[She] sold the fantasy that with enough pulses on the ThighMaster, one’s thighs could resemble hers,” Petrzela said.

“There was also the fact that you could do the ThighMaster at home, while watching TV… no going to the gym or buying a massive piece of equipment.”

Despite its simple design, the portable device could be deceptively challenging as it strengthened and toned inner thigh muscles.

“Resistance bands serve a similar purpose today,” Petrzela said. Plus, they’re easier to store.

WOW chips

WOW, these potato chips were problematic.

They were made with olestra, marketed as Olean, an indigestible fat substitute composed of sugar and vegetable oil. It had no calories or cholesterol — but quite a few horrifying risks.

“These promised to let you have it all: delicious potato chips with none of the fat,” Petrzela recalled.

“The problem was that olestra had all sorts of side effects — memorably, ‘anal leakage’ was listed as one — that were arguably worse than a few extra pounds.”

This late ’90s diet snack was eventually flushed from store shelves.

In the subsequent years, numerous studies have emphasized the health risks of ultra-processed foods like chips. The potential for obesity, Type 2 diabetes, certain cancers and even early death increases with the more junk food that you consume.

Meanwhile, chips have gotten relatively “healthier” — some are air-popped instead of fried, others don’t contain seed oils and even more have been stuffed with protein.

Shake Weights

It’s the most sexually suggestive doohickey of the bunch.

These desirable dumbbells launched in 2009 and quickly went viral thanks to hokey “As Seen on TV” commercials that highlighted their rapid oscillations.

Unfortunately, they were found to be no more effective at toning arms and shoulders than traditional dumbbells.

“An alternative is boring old dumbbells, which tend to do the trick of providing weight-bearing training,” Petrzela said.