Dear Abby: My partner has cancer but refuses to acknowledge my health issues

DEAR ABBY: My significant other of 16 years is fighting cancer. I am proud of his determination. I recently had an EKG, and my results weren’t great. When I told him, he turned it right around to his own issues. Am I selfish for being upset about this? I have catered to him through it all, driven him to his appointments and waited on him hand and foot. I doubt you’ll answer this post, but I’m submitting it anyway. — FRUSTRATED IN MAINE

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Oh, ye of little faith! No, you are not selfish. You are rightfully concerned about your own health as well as your significant other’s and realize how centered on himself he is. What, if anything, you decide to do about this is up to you. But if you need someone to watch your back and are feeling a breeze back there, you might want to depend less on him. Sit down with him, have a serious chat and map out a strategy that’s beneficial to you both.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please do a much-needed public service for those of us who have a service dog? Service dogs are trained to perform specific tasks for their handlers. Tasks can include smelling dangerously high or low glucose levels, smelling mood swings, anxiety and depression, smelling an impending seizure and many other tasks. 

Service dogs are not family pets. Here in New Mexico and in many other states, it is a crime to misrepresent a dog as one. A service dog in training has the same access rights as one that’s fully trained. The dog cannot be denied access. Hotels that charge extra for pets cannot charge extra for a service dog. Airlines must allow service dogs to fly free of charge. They cannot be denied access to any public facility. 

The handler must be in control of the animal at all times. Service dogs that bark excessively must be taken out of the facility. A single “woof” is not excessive barking. Pursuant to the Americans with Disabilities Act, only two questions are allowed: “Is that a service dog?” and “What task is the dog trained to perform?” Questions about the handler’s disability or need for a service dog are not allowed. My dog in training is learning how to alert me to specific medical conditions and respond to assist me.

Many people are unaware of proper behavior around service dogs. Never distract, talk to or pet the service dog. Do not make eye contact with it either. Distracting my dog could cause a serious problem for me. — AWARENESS ADVOCATE

DEAR ADVOCATE: Thank you for your instructive letter about service dog responsibilities and etiquette. I hope it will prove useful to my readers because there appears to be some confusion about this subject, due to so many dog owners cheating the system by representing their pets as service animals. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.