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“Sorry, can’t join the beret (C8) party,” laments Seppo Ranki of Glenhaven. “I had a nice one from my Army Reserve service, as headwear wasn’t considered returnable equipment. Sadly, there was a cricket plague a few years later that left it full of holes. The slouch hat went the same way.”
Fellow Outward Bounder, Meri Will of Baulkham Hills thinks, “talk of witches hats (C8) reminds me of when I saw one stuck, pointy end down, in the hole it was guarding. Next day, there were two cardboard tubes protruding from the base of the hat. The former were wearing shoes and the latter, a pair of bloomers. It seemed a witch had fallen into a ditch.”
“Effingham (C8) is rude enough but surely not as improper as the hamlet of Pett Bottom in Kent,” posits Ray Seymour of Castle Hill. “Allegedly it’s the birthplace of James Bond.”
The query from Dee Wyatt of Old Junee [surely at some point she’s lived in Dee Why – Granny] as to why robot vacuum cleaners need headlights (C8), has garnered a few theories. Here are some of them, starting with Serge Nemaz of Illawong who reckons “it’s so the cat can see it coming and get out of the way. The last thing a robovac needs is more cat fur clogging it up! By the way, I’ve been to Junee. Is Old Junee anywhere near Junee Heights?”
Col Burns of Lugarno keeps it contemporary: “The headlights provide illumination for the onboard cameras that covertly upload video to TikTok, and I must say, Dee, your carpet gymnastics are quite impressive.”
“I cannot help Dee with her robot vacuum cleaner’s need for headlights,” says Susan Bradley of Eltham (Vic). “But I do know that the headlight on my salt and pepper grinder is absurdly useful! I only bought it for a laugh, as it was heavily reduced in price, but have found it to be surprisingly illuminating.”
“In the same way that it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a theatre audience to get a 94-year-old safely into a difficult seat,” declares Coral Button of North Epping. “One takes her arm, one holds up the seat, one voices encouragement and one holds her champagne, until she is safely seated. Many thanks to all and a big shout-out to the Hayes Theatre and its splendid production of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.”
Column8@smh.com.au
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