‘Hot’ single dad opens up about the biggest struggle of dating with 3 kids

A man says women want to date a “hot single dad” — until they realize his kids come “first”.

Colin McCourt, 41, says many women like the idea of dating a devoted father but struggle with the reality of his rigid childcare schedule.

The single dad of three has revealed the “hard truths” of dating him – and says it’s not “impossible” but “organised, structured and child-first.”

But he says he’ll always have full snack cupboard, and will always take the bins out without being asked.

McCourt, a team manager from Glasgow, said: “People don’t expect it to be this structured.

“They think you’ll just work around things.

“But you’re not just dating me, you’re dating a court calendar organised by someone in a suit I can’t afford.

“I’d rather someone know the hard truths straight away.

“Dating me isn’t impossible. It’s just organised, structured and child—first.

“And if someone understands that, then it can actually be something really solid.”

McCourt shares care of his three children — ages four, seven and nine — on a fixed arrangement.

Some weeks he has them for three days, other weeks for six, leaving limited and often late-night windows to meet someone new.

He said: “I could meet at 8:45pm on a Tuesday, but I’m not free Friday nights. There’s only so much you can build through voice notes and the odd coffee squeezed into a gap.”

He says spontaneity — often seen as a cornerstone of romance — simply isn’t realistic.

McCourt said: “Spontaneous plans are adorable. But I need at least a weeks notice.

“People will say, ‘let’s just go away this weekend,’ and I can’t. My life doesn’t work like that.”

One of the biggest hurdles, he says, is finding someone whose availability aligns with his.

He said: “You have to find someone whose weekends line up with yours.

“If they don’t, you probably can’t switch them. There’s a lot of time, money and legal structure that goes into having that routine.”

McCourt is also firm about boundaries when it comes to introducing a partner to his children.

“Someone might say, ‘I’ll come on the school run with you,’ but that’s not a cute date idea,” he said.

“That’s weird if you want to do that when we have just met – that bit is the Champions League of dating, that won’t come for a long time.

“How is picking up my kids a cute date idea? It’s not.

“If you’re seeing someone every other weekend, and I have been seeing them for three months, then I have only seen them six times. That isn’t that much time at all.”

He insists the restrictions aren’t about putting a partner second, but about protecting his children.

He said: “It’s not that I’m choosing someone else over you, I’m choosing my children first. And I’d expect the same from anyone I date if they had kids too.

“I date mainly single mums, so they don’t find it difficult as they understand the process.

“I think its more a problem for them when I move something for the kids when its not my weekend – maybe the mum was ill or something – and they tell me I shouldn’t be doing it and it’s not my responsibility.

“But it is, they are my kids.

“It is so difficult to date as a single dad because when you have been in relationship for along time and then going out and being free to date and choose who you like – you have to figure out what you want.

“Even if you have done healing and therapy, finding what you are looking for is really difficult and finding someone to match that and fond a similar person on your journey.”

McCourt says he also feels there’s an added layer of judgement attached to being a single father.

He said: “The perception is that single dads must have done something wrong.

“There’s this assumption that we caused the break-up or walked away. That’s not always the case.

“Some of us were left. Some relationships just don’t work out.”

Originally moving to Glasgow to be with his former partner, McCourt says the end of the relationship left him isolated.

He said: “My family don’t live in Glasgow. I work from home and I don’t have many friends around me.

“When the kids are with me, I’m busy and focused. When they’re not, the house is quiet. That’s when the isolation hits.”

He admits he has questioned who would want to date a single dad-of-three with such a tight schedule.

McCourt said: “You do think, ‘Who is going to want this type of man?’

“But the reality is, we are men who show up for their kids. Not every single dad is the problem.”

Now, McCourt hopes that by being upfront about the challenges, he can manage expectations from the start.