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Influencer Jen Hamilton admitted that there are still some questions left unanswered about her estranged husband Brian Hamilton’s “double life” – a discovery that ultimately led to the couple’s split.
“Me, now? Me, big, strong girl. Okay? Me, independent girl. Me, ‘don’t need no man’ girl. Me, ‘get out of bad relationship’ girl. But I feel like I need to get out ahead of something,” Jen, 35, told Instagram followers on Wednesday, July 29. “If anything comes out about other things this guy’s done in my marriage, just listen. Me, now? Me, big, strong girl. Me, independent girl. Me, back then? Me, insecure girl. Me, desperate girl.”
The Birth Vibes: Stories and Strategies for an Empowered Birth author announced in June that she and Brian had separated after “15 years of shared history.” She has since accused Brian of living “a double life with a woman who was 56 years old.” (Brian has not responded to Jen’s accusations.)
“Yes, he had a double life with a woman who was 56 years old. Yes, I should have left him way earlier — giving myself grace,” Jen told Instagram followers on Monday, July 27. “I am so fortunate to have the means and resources to leave a bad relationship. There are so many women who are unable to do so, whether from finances, resources, etc.”
In her latest video, Jen acknowledged that there may be aspects of Brian’s alleged “double life” that she isn’t even aware of yet.
“I needed me, now, back then,” she said. “The thing is, I know some stuff, but, girl, I guarantee you I don’t know everything. And the stuff I do know, I’m embarrassed about.”
Offering advice to anyone feeling “desperate” and “insecure,” Jen suggested, “You can borrow some of my not scaredness. I needed me, now, then, because baby, it does not get better. Do you hear me? It does not get better. It gets sneakier.”
“I wish to God that I could say I was strong enough to leave at the first situation. Nah,” she conceded. “But, looking back, I don’t regret loving him as much as I did. Because I love really hard and I don’t want that to change about me. I don’t regret seeing the best in him because I try to see the best in everybody. But, for me, it had to be this bad. It had to be this bad because I love that man so much.”
In the wake of her split, Jen launched a signature fashion line Sisterhood of Solidarity, where “100 percent of the proceeds will go to charities that help women rebuild their lives.” The brand features T-shirts and other apparel with “girl power” slogans such as “I Survived,” “Choosing Myself Today,” and “G.Y.A.U. (Get Your Ass Up).” (Jen is also donating proceeds from all merchandise sold on her website to women’s charities through the end of August.)
The influencer confirmed earlier this week that she has no intention of dropping Hamilton as her last name, arguing that it has become synonymous with her brand and advocacy.
“It’s my name now,” she insisted via Instagram on Monday. “I made this name special and I’m gonna keep it.”
Jen and Brian got married in August 2012 and share two sons, Ellis and Luke.
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