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Home » Nicole Brown Simpson told former lover she’d ‘rather die’ than return to O.J. Simpson before her murder
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Nicole Brown Simpson told former lover she’d ‘rather die’ than return to O.J. Simpson before her murder

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Nicole Brown Simpson told former lover she’d ‘rather die’ than return to O.J. Simpson before her murder

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Years before Nicole Brown Simpson’s murder, Joseph Perrulli said she made a devastating prediction about her future — one he wishes had never come true.

The couple was having dinner when Simpson confided that her estranged husband, football star and actor O.J. Simpson, had beaten her “really badly,” causing her to black out.

Simpson tearfully told Perrulli, “I just prayed something like that would never happen again. But it did. I’d rather die than go back to that man.”

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On June 12, 1994, Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman were found murdered outside her home in the Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles. Thirty-two years later, Perrulli wrote a memoir, “The Forgotten Briefcase,” about their romance.

“To hear those words — how do you even process it?” Perrulli told Fox News Digital. “It disturbed me that night. I’ll never forget waking up and remembering everything she said to me. But I felt confident she would never go back to him. I saw such strength in her eyes. I figured she wouldn’t go back to him.”

Joseph Perrulli and Nicole Brown Simpson together.

Perrulli first met Simpson in 1989 through their mutual friend, Kris Jenner. But it wasn’t until 1992, after Simpson filed for divorce from O.J., that they reconnected — and Perrulli said the woman he met then was almost unrecognizable from the one he’d first encountered years earlier.

Book cover for

“When I first met her, I suspected something was going on in her life,” Perrulli said. “She was very secretive. Her demeanor was unlike anything I’d seen in Beverly Hills at the time. But I remember I was drawn to this inner sadness. I don’t know why. But when we reconnected in 1992, she had completely transformed herself. She was a vivacious woman taking control of her life. It was so mesmerizing to me.”

After having dinner with the Jenners, Simpson invited Perrulli back to her new rental home in Brentwood. Once she checked on her children, Sydney, then 6, and Justin, 3, she lit candles, and the pair quickly bonded on the couch. There, Perrulli learned about her favorite music — “everything but country,” she told him — and her favorite restaurants across Los Angeles. Between laughter, they kissed.

Kris Jenner attends an event at the Century Plaza Hotel in Century City, California.

Perrulli also remembered a warning from Jenner’s husband, then known as Bruce Jenner, after he sensed sparks were flying between the pair: “O.J. will always be her problem.”

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Joseph Perrulli and Nicole Brown Simpson having dinner with Kris Jenner and friends.

“Those words have always stayed with me,” Perrulli said. “Caitlyn Jenner said it almost in passing, but with such a serious look. We were mountain biking in Malibu when I spoke about how incredible Nicole was. I could never let those words go.”

When Perrulli left Simpson’s home that night, he recalled catching the scent of Paco Rabanne cologne and feeling compelled to look over his shoulder. He also remembered that Simpson wore the scent herself.

O.J. Simpson stands with his arm around Nicole at a cafe opening.

Days later, Simpson told him a neighbor had seen O.J. lurking outside her home while Perrulli was there. Perrulli said he realized the scent he’d noticed belonged to the same cologne O.J. was wearing.

Nicole Brown and OJ Simpson stand together.

As their relationship deepened, Perrulli said he also began to learn more about the darker side of Simpson’s marriage to O.J.

“She didn’t always talk about the abuse she endured,” Perrulli said. “She was very private and held it very close to her chest. We were having dinner when, out of nowhere, she confided in me. I had my suspicions, but it was entirely different hearing it from her.”

Nicole Brown Simpson and Joseph Perrulli spending time together at the beach.

“I was unprepared for it,” Perrulli admitted. “I didn’t know how to react. All I could do while she was crying in public was hold her hands and make sure I listened. I never spoke about that to anyone. Ever.”

Denise Brown cries on the witness stand in a courtroom.

According to the book, Simpson told Perrulli, “He totally lost control, yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs. Then he started hitting me, hard … I thought for sure he was going to kill me. The pain was so intense, I must have gone into shock because even though I could still hear him yelling and I could still hear his fists hitting me, I was numb. I totally blacked out from the pain.”

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Nicole Brown Simpson photo appears on a television screen.

Despite everything she had endured, Perrulli said Simpson remained determined to build a new life for herself. She poured herself into raising Sydney and Justin and embracing the independence she believed she had finally found.

O.J. Simpson and Nicole Brown Simpson stand with children at a premiere in Hollywood.

As Perrulli fell deeper in love with Simpson, he also grew increasingly unnerved by O.J.’s continued presence in her life.

In the book, Perrulli said the turning point came during a run along San Vicente Boulevard. As he, Simpson and her friend Cora jogged, they unexpectedly encountered O.J. waiting nearby with his and Simpson’s children. Perrulli briefly locked eyes with O.J. as he ran past. He described feeling a chill as he saw “the monster from Nicole’s nightmare” in O.J.’s stare.

O.J. Simpson and Nicole Brown Simpson pose at a premiere.

“I saw something far different in his eyes that morning,” Perrulli told Fox News Digital.

Nicole Brown Simpson and O.J. Simpson attend a movie premiere in Century City, California.

The encounter convinced him that remaining in Simpson’s life would only intensify the danger surrounding her, a realization he later summed up with the words, “Fear can supersede love.”

Joseph Perrulli looking down as Nicole Brown Simpson smiles and looks away.

Perrulli said he also experienced what he believes was a prophetic dream in which he and Simpson died together in a car crash.

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Joseph Perrulli in a white shirt embracing Nicole Brown Simpson in conversation.

“It felt like one of the most significant premonitions of my life,” he said. “The following morning, I knew the relationship had ended.”

“I regret not maintaining a friendship with her because she was such a beautiful spirit,” he said. “But I realized how difficult it was going to be for her to separate herself from him. And, of course, living about a mile from his home, I felt it was an impossible situation to be in.”

Nicole Brown Simpson in a black bikini sitting next to Joseph Perrulli in a black shirt.

Simpson wanted to stay friends. She even called him to say her divorce was finalized. She gave him a copy of her favorite book and dropped off a photo album with a goodbye note. She told him, “I want you to keep that, and I want you to look at it sometimes and see what you’ll be missing.”

Nicole Brown Simpson stands in a file photo.

Perrulli didn’t see Simpson again until the Jenners’ annual Christmas Eve party in 1993. There, he said he was stunned to discover she had reunited with O.J.

“I found out they’re back together,” he said. “I just remember the night when she said she’d never go back to him. She’d rather die than go back to him. I lingered there a little too long. Obviously, I upset him. I regret that last encounter because I thought I’d see her again and apologize.”

Nicole Brown Simpson's grave in a cemetery

Six months later, Simpson was murdered. She was 35 years old. Perrulli said he immediately believed O.J. was responsible.

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O.J. Simpson stands during his trial in a courtroom.

“I knew exactly who did it,” Perrulli said. “But I couldn’t grieve. I did everything I could to detach myself, as if the spring of 1992 never existed.”

During the 1995 murder trial, Perrulli spoke with prosecutor Marcia Clark after tabloids revealed his relationship with Simpson. He wasn’t called to testify. O.J. was acquitted in the criminal case but was later found liable for the deaths of Simpson and Goldman in a 1997 civil trial. He was ordered to pay $33.5 million in damages.

Ronald Goldman appears in a family photo.

For years, Perrulli attempted to lock away his memories of Simpson. It wasn’t until 2024 that he opened a briefcase he initially believed had been lost. Inside were the letters, photographs and keepsakes he’d packed away after ending their relationship — untouched for more than three decades.

A black and white headshot of Joseph Perrulli.

“Nicole was seen as just a victim, and Ron Goldman, too, for that matter,” Perrulli said. “But she was a devoted mother who, at one point, felt she was finally free. I guess I needed some closure. And maybe, in finding this briefcase, Nicole wants the world to see her for who she was.”

Perrulli said he hopes readers remember not only how Simpson died but also who she was during the brief period when she believed she’d reclaimed her life.



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