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A professional matchmaker has shared her top tips for bagging your dream partner — and warned that texting too much before a first date is a big no-no.
Cath Gosden says couples should keep the initial meeting short and go for a coffee — and avoid constant messaging beforehand.
The 53-year-old set up Genuine Connections two years ago after 17 years of being single made her sick of dating apps.
She says daters should be open to people outside of their usual ‘type,’ as what they have been doing before hasn’t worked for a reason.
And Cath says you should never send too many messages before meeting, as they can be easily misread — and kill off any romance before it’s started.
The former payroll manager, from Felbridge, Surrey, said, “I spent a lot of time dating and things often go south when telephone numbers are exchanged. We can all misread a text, and people say things they normally wouldn’t over text.
“I had never met the person but I had almost married them in my head, then you go and meet them and they are not what you thought.
“They weren’t pretending to be something different, I had just over-romanticized it in my head so when I got there, I was disappointed. I take all of that away.”
Cath meets all the singles she matches herself and gives them questionnaires and a personality test before writing them a profile from this information.
Once these are ready, she looks for similar values, lifestyle, and interests, or simply people she feels would get on well, and shows them profiles that could be a match.
If both singles agree to meet, the expert then sets up the first date herself.
Cath says the majority of her clients look for someone who is emotionally intelligent, kind, honest, ambitious, and active.
Key turn-offs include smoking, laziness, a lack of ambition, having no hobbies, and dishonesty.
There are also some quirkier traits that put clients off — including one who refused to date someone who watched documentaries.
But, mainly, Cath says it is hard to get people to move past looks.
She said, “Some are very looks-driven, and others are open to meeting people based on what they said in their profile.
“I think we have all become accustomed to basing things on looks because of the online space. We have been brainwashed into swiping using the pictures and not looking at the words.
“If they have dated for a while people get wrapped up in their ‘type’ but often that hasn’t served them well and that is why they are still single.”
Cath set up Genuine Connections after going through her own dating nightmares.
She says after her divorce she had tried everything to find a partner, including apps, speed dating, and singles events — but she didn’t have any luck.
So, instead of giving up, she decided to try and help others with the same problem and started her business two years ago for over-40s who are sick of swiping.
There are three matchmaking packages: six months, 12 months, and platinum.
The latter ensures you only get shown people who have already said yes and would like to date you, Cath says.
Clients can opt for a photo shoot with a professional photographer, a stylist, and a dating coach.
The packages range from £1,897 (roughly $2,556) to £4,397 (roughly $5,926)— but you can also enter the database for £24 (roughly $32.35) a month, where you get a profile written and a chance to get matched with these clients.
Cath says she matches people mostly on instinct, but also looks at shared values, lifestyles, and interests.
She said, “I absolutely love it. When dates go well that lights me up. I get a sense of satisfaction that I have done what I promised to do and it has worked.”
So far, she claims there have been several successful pairs who are still dating to this day, including her own partner, whom she met through the service over a year ago and lives with.
The love enthusiast had put an ad out on social media for someone who matched her client’s needs, and got a call from a man who fit the description.
However, he didn’t meet the physical requirements for her client, and she couldn’t find anyone to match him with.
So, she matched him with herself.
She said, “I met my own partner through Genuine Connections so that is sort of its own proof that it works.
“I have never done this before and obviously I am not going to do it again, but I said that I would love to meet him. We met the next day for dinner. A few months later I moved in with him.
“It wasn’t me that was the problem, it was the online apps and the way they are set up.”
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