Markets 
Parks and wreck-ed.
Universal Studios’ $550 million children’s theme park in Texas has been eviscerated online with haters analogizing the aesthetic attraction to a “maximum security prison.”
Slated to open in Frisco on July 1, the Universal Kids Resort is Universal’s first-ever park aimed at 3-8-year-old children — a demographic that’s been historically put off by their bigger, scarier attractions, Bloomberg reported.
In lieu of the typical stomach-churning rollercoasters, the sprawling 20-acre theme park will feature kid-friendly attractions sprinkled throughout seven lands inspired by the younger gen’s favorite TV and film franchises.
These include Shrek’s Swamp, Dreamworks ‘ Trollfest and Jurassic World Adventure Fest.
There will also be nods to beloved characters, ranging from SpongeBob SquarePants to Puss in Boots.
“We designed this park for young kids,” Molly Murphy, president of Universal Creative, previously told The Dallas Morning News. “That was our intention: the unbridled creativity of young kids — and their grown-ups and families. So we really looked at it from that lens throughout the whole design process.”
Ahead of the resort’s opening, guests were treated to a special, Jurassic Park-style preview of the amusement park. Like with that fateful tour from the movie, it didn’t go quite as expected.
Visitors uploaded photos of their inside look to social media, where users ripped the so-called children’s wonderland as a veritable Fyre Festival with underwhelming decor and no greenery.
“There is not a splash of color on this huge concrete walkway and even the rides are just concrete. Insanely depressing for a kids’ park,” said one critic on X while decrying the Spartan aesthetic. “Insanely depressing for a kids’ park.”
They also included aerial photos of the seemingly post-apocalyptic-looking attraction.
“This really is the worst theme park developed by a major company in the modern era, right?” said another. “I can’t believe what I’m seeing.”
A third lamented, “This isn’t concept art. This is real life. This is UNIVERSAL KIDS RESORT.”
“Can’t wait to take our kids to Chernobyl Magic Kingdom,” joked one wit.
“I don’t see what the hate is,” snarked another. “It’s clearly well themed, and that theme is a maximum security prison in Texas.”
“I’ve seen graveyards with more personality than this place,” fumed another.
Former Disney imagineer Jim Shull even took potshots at his former rival company’s minimalist creation, writing, “3-8 year olds like ‘cute’ and this is not.”
However, some flocked to the resort’s defense. “It’s an amusement park…for young children,” declared one defender on Reddit. “The aesthetic and color palette are to catch attention. It looks the way such a thing should look.”
Coincidentally, the theme park received pushback from the get-go.
During a Frisco City Council meeting in 2023, residents expressed concerns that its construction would bring traffic, crime and environmental detriments to the tranquil haven.
“I don’t think that Universal’s incentives can offset the peace of mind that people sought when they chose to work and raise a family in Frisco,” resident Laura Countryman told The Dallas Morning News at the time. “Our city identity is really not one of being a tourist trap, especially not for the sake of making a quick buck or a sensational headline.”
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