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Steven Lee of Coonabarabran “was on a flight out of Sydney airport on Monday. They had announced that at 2pm there would be the test alert signal sent through, but as people should already have their phones set to airplane mode there should be nothing to worry about. Sitting on the tarmac at 2pm, several phones started making alarming noises with their embarrassed owners scrabbling to silence them with the rest of the passengers staring daggers at them. So much for following instructions. At least we know that the alert works.”
Also up in the air is Phil Kanaley of Glebe who “might pop down to Gleebooks to see Alan Joyce and Fran Kelly. No doubt this will be quite popular, so, after getting through security, I expect to be seated in a 3-4-3 configuration with limited legroom and no chance to recline. Captain Joyce should buckle in and be prepared for a bumpy flight. Hopefully, there’s a drinks trolley, I’ll have a little bottle of red please and a gluten, dairy, nut and taste-free snack pack.”
“During COVID, my young neighbour who was renting the property, made many telephone calls in the backyard,” recalls Rosie Miller of Randwick. “On many occasions she could be heard discussing her boredom and inviting friends over for a barbecue. I didn’t know who to blame – the bored neighbour, or her friends for attending the barbecue!”
Time for closure? “Hey Granny, tell Andrew Cohen that the movie Jedda (C8) is on NITV this Friday at midday,” advises John Byrne of Port Macquarie.
“It’s weird reading about the foibles of rugby league (C8),” says Bernie Carberry of Connells Point. “I’m an ancient rugby man. Not keen on the 13-man game. Aussie Rules not my scene either. Too many knock-ons and forward passes.” And don’t get him started on the shepherds.
“The results are in,” declares Matt Petersen of Randwick. “I know every Columnator has been wondering how the underwater hockey (C8) panned out for the Aussies. As reported by team physio Nick ‘The Pelvis King’ Stepkovitch: Men U/19 – 5th. Women U/19 – 6th. Women U/24 – 8th. And a well-earned Bronze medal for the Men U/24. Well played, all. Now all they need is a team name.”
“With our underwater hockey team apparently copping so much heat, should they have been made to take a compulsory hydration break?” asks Mickey Pragnell of Kiama.
Column8@smh.com.au
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