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DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 11 years. Most of them were good. Two years ago, my husband started drinking again. It has caused a lot of problems, including a DUI, and my family won’t come around anymore. I’m feeling incredibly isolated. I recently met someone. He has become my best friend, and we have strong feelings for each other. Is it wrong to want to move on? — DONE WITH IT IN WEST VIRGINIA
DEAR DONE: That you would want to move on is natural, considering the fact that you have spent the last two years with an addicted stranger. Would you be open to staying in your marriage if your husband were willing to quit drinking and get help? If the answer is yes, offer him a choice: Dry out or lose you, because you have had it. If he lapses, follow through.
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DEAR ABBY: I had three close girlfriends in college. We lost touch with one of them more than 35 years ago. She has family in our area, but moved to the Midwest and stopped communicating with us, though she regularly visits family nearby.
Over the years, I got a new job, married, had two kids, divorced, moved, and retired. This friend has recently gotten back in touch. I don’t know what prompted it. I have friends who have supported me all my life and deserve my attention. She was brave to reconnect, and I don’t want to be harsh, but she certainly has not been a good friend to me. What do you think? — RELUCTANT FORMER FRIEND
DEAR RELUCTANT: I think you have two choices: You can ignore this former friend’s attempt to reconnect, or you could respond by asking her what prompted her to reach out after all these years. If she tells you she wants to get together, depending on her answer, either agree or explain that your paths diverged decades ago, you have a busy life, and are not available.
If you do decide to end your marriage, a word of caution: While you and this new man may have strong feelings for each other, for your own sake, please take your time. Be sure you really know him before pinning your future on him — or anyone.
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DEAR ABBY: While looking through some old stuff at home, we unexpectedly came across our late mother’s false teeth. Our family members cannot agree as to what we should do with them. We have mixed feelings: It’s such a personal item, it seems wrong to just discard it.
At the same time, it somehow seems creepy to hold on to them. There are plenty of more appropriate reminders of Mom already. She passed away many years ago, by the way. Your thoughts? — INDENTURED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR INDENTURED: Talk with your dentist about this. Some dentists can dispose of dentures or recycle some of the parts. It’s certainly worth a try, and a lot better than throwing them away or burying them in the backyard.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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