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There is never a perfect time to step away from your team.
If you’re a head coach, there is always another game, another trip, another training session. And in professional women’s soccer, those demands last almost 11 months of the year.
But, as I tell my players, we’re people first — and when I became a dad, I learned the hard way what it meant to put the job ahead of my family when they needed me most.
So when my second child, Laia, was born a few months ago, I knew I had to do things differently. That meant taking five weeks of paternity leave from Gotham FC — currently the top-ranking team in the National Women’s Soccer League and 2025 champions — in the middle of the season.
I only wish I made the same choice back in 2021.
At the time, I had just started a job with Real Betis Féminas, a team based in Seville. We were at the bottom of the league and fighting relegation — meaning being demoted to a lower division for the next season — when my wife, Laura, told me she was pregnant.
It was a difficult moment at work. I put all my efforts into the team and we turned things around and pulled off something of a miracle, finishing 12th and securing our survival.
Then came my second season as head coach, and, finally, the arrival of my son.
Luka was born on a Thursday. I coached a game the night before while Laura was in the hospital, spent Friday at home with my new family of three and was back on the pitch Saturday afternoon.
In Spain, fathers and mothers are both entitled to 16 weeks of leave. But it wasn’t something I felt I could even contemplate. The team was still struggling, and we didn’t have the resources or structure in place to make it possible.
Even when I looked for small ways to spend more time at home — like flying to away games instead of traveling by bus — we couldn’t make them work.
To this day, I regret not being able to be the husband and father that my family needed during such a critical period. I wanted to be in two places at once, but in the end, I let my wife and son down.
“Paternity leave can still feel like such a difficult decision for men in the US. America is a country where hard work is important, but it’s also a place where family is a core value.”
Juan Carlos Amorós
Four years later, when we learned we were having a daughter, our circumstances were very different.
Our family had moved from Spain to Houston and then to New York, and along the way, Laura had made enormous sacrifices in her own career to support mine and raise our son.
Things had changed professionally, too. I’d been with Gotham for three years, we had found stability and success, and I had a coaching staff I trusted completely.
When Laia arrived on April 20th, I wasn’t planning to take a prolonged leave. We had a plan in place: I’d take a few days off here and there or miss the occasional trip, while relatives traveled from overseas to help out as Laura recovered.
By June, though, that support was beginning to run out. Around the same time, Luka started his summer break, adding another layer to the demands of life with a newborn.
That’s when I realized I needed to take these five weeks. It was important to me to be there not only for the kids, but for my wife, too. She had been through a lot, and I felt she deserved to have me there.
Already, I can see the difference. When you aren’t physically with your child, or you’re constantly coming and going, it has a real impact on your relationship with them.
Sometimes, even when I was home, my coaching responsibilities were so demanding that I felt I wasn’t really mentally there.
Having this time together has allowed us to settle into life as a family of four. It has strengthened our bonds, eased some of the stress and given Laura the space to recover. More than anything, I’ve been able to be present for my children in a way I haven’t before.
And I’ve felt the benefits personally, too. I’m in a healthier place mentally, and that also means I can do my job better.
But making this decision wasn’t something I could have done on my own.
It wouldn’t have been possible without the foundation we’ve built at Gotham. For years, I’ve worked alongside assistant coach Shaun Harris and a technical team who know me, know our players and know exactly what we are trying to do.
I had complete faith that the coaching staff was ready to drive the boat while I was gone, and I trusted Gotham FC’s controlling owner Carolyn Tisch and the entire club to give them the support they needed, just as they had done for me.
I’m also incredibly grateful to the players. Life happens — illness, loss, family milestones — and we try to be there for each other when it does. I’ve always tried to create that kind of environment for the team, so it meant a lot to know they had my back when I needed it.
Of course, I know not everyone agrees with my choice. I worried about how people would react when I announced I wanted to take leave. But the people whose opinions matter most to me are the players, the people I work with and the people I work for — and they’ve been amazing.
What has always surprised me is that taking paternity leave can still feel like such a difficult decision for men in the US. America is a country where hard work is important, but it’s also a place where family is a core value.
So I don’t understand why more men don’t take that opportunity when they have it, or why companies don’t do more to make it possible.
That’s part of why I wanted to share my experience. I want other men to know it’s okay to make the same choice when their families need them.
Because you can’t go back. Sometimes in life, there are things that, if you miss them, you miss them forever. I think we should all think about what we can do again later and what we can’t.
After all, your children are only going to be this small once. If I can inspire even one new dad who is hesitating to feel confident taking the time he needs to be there for those moments, it will have been worth it.
I know he wouldn’t regret it. I don’t.
Read the full article here
