Markets 
Myori Grainger could most likely land a date with any man she wanted.
The leggy model and influencer turns heads walking down the sidewalk in jeans and a T-shirt, never mind on the catwalk – and she’s got nearly 150,000 adoring followers on her Instagram account.
But she was having trouble finding what she was actually looking for — financial security.
“I wasn’t having the best experience,” the eligible New Jersey native confessed to The Post of her IRL dating encounters.
Too much trial and error, too many unanswered questions going into too many evenings. And she was fed up of being told that her quality standards were “too high.”
And then, prompted by a close friend, she signed up for a dating website specifically aimed at matching ‘security-seeking’ women with partners who can and want to provide for them — but this time, for life.
Forget sugar babies. What Grainger wanted, in essence, was to become a sugar wife.
And the platform she went hunting for her future sugar husband? Seeking — a dating platform originally founded in 2006 as Seeking Arrangements, which had launched “sugar baby” culture into the mainstream.
Ten years ago, the idea of a sugar baby entering a financial arrangement with a man, often much older, was almost taboo.
Today, it’s how many women today openly approach their romantic futures. And as a result the site itself has had something of a makeover, now seeking to attract a clientele who want “lasting partnerships and love built on a mutual desire to live an aspirational and fulfilled life.”
Hence the sugar wives.
And Grainger was eager to find a man who was “willing to invest” in a relationship with her.
Of course, once you strip away the euphemisms of “security-seeking” and “investment”, it’s arguably a tale as old as time: Hot young woman trades herself, and often sex, to a rich older man.
Though Grainger insists the opposite. As a successful woman, she is simply upfront about wanting a partner with drive — and means — and was shocked by the success of what she calls one of her “best first dates,” after joining the platform.
“He picked me up in a beautiful car, surprised me with gorgeous flowers, and took me to a three-Michelin-starred restaurant,” she recounted. “We ended the evening by a fireplace overlooking the water while enjoying a great bottle of wine.”
She was sold. The man had been transparent from the beginning about what he wanted – as had she. The experience, she said, had been refreshing.
“Dating becomes a much better experience when people are honest about who they are and what they’re looking for,” the 32-year-old said.
“Being clear about your expectations saves everyone time, creates stronger connections, and gives people the opportunity to build relationships on trust and authenticity from day one.”
Dabbling in the lifestyle, she said, helped her feel free to stop settling. “There is no limit to what I can achieve or deserve,” she told The Post.
Grainger is one of scores of American women and men warming to the idea of being more up-front with the people they date — but they insist they’re nothing like the gold diggers of yore. Even though they definitely want their would-be mate to show up loaded.
Of course, midway through the twenty-teens, things are very different than they were a decade ago, when Seeking landed like a bomb on the scene — different economy-wise, society-wise, and very definitely, dating-wise.
As Americans struggle more and more to get ahead, staying home while your partner or some other provider brings home the bacon has become an aspirational lifestyle — look no further than the concept of the “trad wife”, for example, going viral globally, amplified and boosted on social media.
Money, ambition and lifestyle expectations — the kinds of conversations that once made polite people cringe — are now becoming first-date topics. Say what you want up front, and watch the interested suitors form an orderly line, at least optimally.
New York divorce attorney James Sexton says that the demanding women of today aren’t inventing a thing — they’re just rebranding ancient custom.
“All relationships are an economy,” Sexton, for whom failing marriages are just another day at the office, told The Post. “An economy is an exchange of value.”
The difference today, he said, isn’t that money suddenly matters — it’s that people are increasingly comfortable acknowledging it.
“Sugar dating is saying the quiet part out loud,” Sexton said.
Dating coach Drew Henry told The Post that this new openness is revolutionizing dating yet again — and that there’s no need for people to waste their time anymore.
“Leading with what you want in a relationship is a great way to attract what you’re looking for,” the matchmaker to the wealthy told The Post.
He points to one client who earns more than $250,000 a year and uses a Hinge prompt that reads, “One thing I’ll never do again is fly economy.”
Another client of Henry’s, who’s after a traditional marriage, has started asking men before the first date whether they plan to treat or split the bill.
“The men who intended to split often get frustrated [by her candor],” Henry said. “The men who already planned to pay actually feel flattered.”
“One of the keys is being upfront with your dating intentions, even if they go against standard norms and taboos we’ve learned in dating culture,” he urged prospective hopefuls.
Culture caught up
The mainstreaming of hat-in-hand dating has certainly been felt at Seeking.
What was once one of the internet’s most notorious dating platforms has become transformed into a site where men and women are going to find lifelong happiness.
Brandon Wade was the brains behind Seeking Arrangements — initially causing eye rolls with his idea that openly prioritizing wealth in a romantic relationship was okay.
Inspired by his mother’s advice that women were looking for successful men who could provide, he built a platform where wealth wasn’t something to hide — it was the point.
“From her perspective, women [were] looking for a specific caliber of men, men that can provide,” Wade told The Post. “Her advice for me was, ‘Focus on your school… once you are successful, the dating will simply happen naturally.’”
Needless to say, the site was a hit, especially for him, because it’s where he met his wife of four years, Dana Rosewall, who is 30 years younger than him and was successful in her own right, looking for her equal.
Wade admits he leaned into the sensational headlines — they helped grow the business. But over time, he says, that image became more transactional than he ever intended — and eventually became the company’s biggest liability.
Now, with conversations about provider men, financial compatibility, and traditional relationship roles entering the mainstream, Wade, 55, and Rosewall, 25, who has become the site’s co-CEO, told The Post they believe that the culture has finally caught up to what they say that Seeking was always trying to facilitate: people being honest about what they want in a partner.
Rosewall doesn’t believe that today’s users, particularly the women, are looking for anything radically new. She thinks they’re finally comfortable with saying it out loud.
“I think part of the issue is the women were being labeled gold diggers for wanting a guy that provides, and there’s nothing wrong with that,” she insisted.
While others — like herself — want to weed out the dating pool options to find someone who matches their ambition quickly.
“They’re all asking for the same thing,” she said. “I just want the choice, and I don’t want to be ridiculed for my dating preference.”
Read the full article here
