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He’s cashing in on his endowment fund.
A North Carolina man who dubbed his sex appendage as the “world’s smallest penis” might finally get a happy ending — he has a date set for an enhancement operation that’s being financed by crowd donations.
Tiny tallywacker owner Michael Phillips told TMZ that his operation goes down August 17 with a doctor in Charlotte, who will inject his 0.38-inch manhood with semi-permanent dermal filler to increase its girth.
The Southerner claimed that the operation will set him back approximately $4,000, meaning he didn’t take Beverly Hills doctor Robert Dorfman up on his generous offer to perform a $20,000 plumping procedure for free.
But with more than $13,500 in donations from boosters on his GoFundMe page, Phillips will have more than enough to get him across the finish line.
The surplus cash, meanwhile, will cover doctor fees, meds and any follow-up appointments.
This marks the end of a schlong and painful saga for the one-inch-wonder, whose aspirin-sized phallus places him well within the threshold of a micropenis.
“I’ve wanted to do this for the longest [time] because everyone knows how horrible being so small can be,” Phillips wrote on social media after he first announced his plans for an enlargement.
This unfortunate condition is defined by the Cleveland Clinic as an “atypically small penis” — measuring 3.67 inches or less — that’s discovered in infancy or early childhood.
Phillips wrote that his wee willy made it “extremely difficult” to use the bathroom sans making a mess — a complication that prompted him to use pull-up diapers.
Go figure: He also came up short in the sack.
“The biggest challenges I’ve faced [are] having a sexual relationship and still being a virgin and being able to talk about it openly because of how embarrassing of a topic it is,” recalled the poor fellow.
While the North Carolinian has had several sexual encounters, he said he wasn’t “able to get it in,” and eventually “lost interest” in making whoopee entirely.
Phillips says that the upcoming op won’t cure his “micropenis condition,” but says it’ll improve his “daily life” by allowing him to stop using diapers and regain some “normalcy and comfort.”
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